## 42:1
%% 4
> My Soul Pants for You
>> As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants after you, God.

Occasion: Coming back after drifting

Lord, I am at the door again.
I have drifted a long way on little wants,
one day at a time,
one shrug,
one delay,
until You felt far because I kept straying.

Sometimes I knew I was drifting.
Other times I hardly noticed.
Now the distance feels real,
and I am ashamed that I let it go so far.

Bring me back without disguise.
Teach me to come thirsty and tell the truth.
I do not want to make promises
only because I am afraid,
or pretend I can repair the distance myself.

I'd rather arrive with an excuse in hand.
I'd rather speak around the bare fact
that I left the stream for dust.
The words stick like dust on my tongue
even now, trying to say it plainly.

Bring me all the way in.
Do not let shame keep me at the door.

I came back with dust in my mouth.
Let the first thing I taste be mercy.

Amen.