## 88:3
%% 5
> My soul is full of troubles
>> For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to the grave.

Occasion: Grieving a suicide

Someone I care about just ended their own life.
Lord, Why?
How is this possible?
How did they come to so hideous a place 
that they could see no other choice?
What did I do wrong?
What didn't I do that would have prevented this?
These questions rend me limb from limb.

The sun stops moving, 
the birds stop singing,
the whole world comes to a grinding halt
as my mind struggles to grasp the ungraspable
and my heart struggles to bear the unbearable.

Meanwhile, there's the terrible shrapnel 
that has deeply wounded everyone nearby.
Including me.

This person is now beyond my aid.
But the survivors are not.

There are no words to say to them.
There's no fix to apply.
All that can be done is be present
to those who have had a gaping hole 
ripped in their souls.

No `words of wisdom,' just holding a hand.
No platitudes, just a meal prepared.
No clichés, just honest, caring silence.

This is far beyond any answer or solution.
Help me to be a small solace anyway.

Amen.